


oh, the things i do for love

by psychopathicdorito (orphan_account)



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, au in where tony and clint are pranking buds, but then guess what it's tony-centric, in where tony is once again an asshole, nat blackmails tony, romanogers - Freeform, steve is a lost puppy, thor is probably somewhere flirting with jane idk the guy's on vacation probably, tony buys nat and steve dinner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 12:57:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6117151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/psychopathicdorito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In all honesty, it was supposed to be a romantic gesture. One to show Nat how happy he was she had let him into her life. To make her feel warm, loved, appreciated, and probably to help calm her down after she and a member of SHIELD had gotten into a fight.</p>
<p>In where Steve wastes his money, Tony and Clint are assholes, Bruce keeps Steve sane, and Natasha gets them dinner.</p>
<p>Set before AOU and after CATWS (let's face it, all my fics are going to be like this).</p>
            </blockquote>





	oh, the things i do for love

In all honesty, it was supposed to be a romantic gesture. One to show Nat how happy he was she had let him into her life. To make her feel warm, loved, appreciated…

And probably to help calm her down after she and a member of SHIELD had gotten into a fight.

(And if he was to be frank, Natasha was clearly in the right. Then again, maybe he was biased.)

So Steve, ever the gentleman, had slipped out of bed earlier than usual, pleaded JARVIS not to say anything about his absence, and went off to buy her a muffin, coffee, and a bouquet.

(Now that Steve thinks about it, the bouquet may have been a little over the top.)

But minutes later, with the coffee spilt and the muffin and bouquet nothing but crumbs and scattered petals, Steve was wishing maybe he had brought Clint around for back-up. Or maybe Bruce.

So of course he couldn't help groaning when he heard Nat scolding him over the same thing on the intercom.

"Like I said, it was supposed to be a romantic gesture!" Steve hollered, narrowly dodging as a car flew over his head. It burst into flames not soon after hitting the ground behind him. "How was I supposed to know this…what _is_ this thing, anyway?"

"Uh, that would be my fault." Tony's voice crackled over the intercom, and Steve raised an eyebrow. This spawn of Satan was _Tony's_ work? "I challenged this egotistic maniac to build a droid, and, uh, I guess he decided to bring it out for a test drive?"

"Why wouldn't he just bring it over to you to check out?" Bruce asked.

Steve heard what he was fairly sure was Clint's laughter, before Tony spoke up, clearly amused as he said, "Don't get me wrong, robots are sexy, but-"

"Get to the point, Stark." Nat snapped, and Steve winced.

So much for a romantic gesture to make Nat happy. So far he had done the exact opposite.

_Way to go, Steve._

"Yeah, okay. You see, my exact words were 'bet you can't build a droid that Captain America can't defeat'. So, if Steve would win that bet that'd be great."

"You made a bet and dragged _my_ name into it?!" Steve yelled exasperatedly. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Oooh, Captain America used the 'h' word! You're dead, Tony." Clint snickered.

_To-Do list: Persuade Tony to help him prank Clint._

"Hey, Cap'n, don't tell me there are little kids there. Wouldn't want them hanging around bad influences." Tony added, and Clint's laughter grew even louder.

_Add to To-Do list: Inform Pepper Potts that Tony made a stupid bet while she was gone. And then proceed to find a way to prank him as well._

Natasha sighed. "Stark, I'm tired as fuck. So if you'd just tell us how to defeat this thing, I'd like to hear it before I crack your skull open and find out myself."

The laughter died down, and Tony cleared his throat. "Right. Well, after that he told me he bet I couldn't defeat the droid he'd make to defeat you, so now JARVIS is having said droid locked on to your coordinates. He'll be out of your hair in no time flat."

"And the people hurt in the fight?" Steve asked, ever the concerned hero.

"SHIELD's having a rescue team sent there, and Tony's talking to the guy who built the droid right now to make him pay for the damage and hospital bills so SHIELD doesn't have to." Bruce's voice explained over the intercom.

"Explain to me how Tony's made a droid to defeat this one when he just learned what it's capable of?"

"Oh, this isn't a new droid." Tony's smugly interjected. "It's an old droid I have that can figure out how to defeat anything in an estimated two minutes."

"Remind me why exactly you have this?"

Steve could hear the shrug that Tony was probably giving him. "I got bored."

"Captain, the droid's made it to your coordinates, we're having the helicarrier pick you up now. Stay right were you are." Clint said suddenly.

"Thanks." Steve let out in exasperation. He took out the small earpiece and pocketed it back safely where it belonged, taking a moment to peek out from behind the overturned car he had been hiding from.

Sure enough, a second droid had joined the fight, easily beating up the first one. Around them, SHIELD was evacuating and offering first aid to civilians.

Soon after, there was the familiar sound of what sounded like a helicopter, and sure enough, as Steve looked up the familiar vehicle was hovering above him.

He let out a sigh and gave himself a small grin. Maybe he could ask one of the people to buy another coffee and muffin for him - scratch the bouquet, it really was over the top - and then -

"I don't know what your idea of romantic is, Rogers, but this isn't it."

Steve visibly slumped, letting his shoulders fall as he turned around to face her. _Of course_ she would have been on the helicarrier with them.

"You look like someone just died. Don't worry, every civilian's safe and accounted for."

As expected, Nat had her arms across her chest, looking him over as if he was judging his every move. She was the only person to ever make him cower under her gaze aside from his parents - and that had happened a long, long time ago.

"Sorry?" was the first thing that left Steve's mouth, cringing as he heard the word raise to a pitch that made it sound exactly like he was unsure. Taking a deep breath, he tried again. "I mean, sorry."

"What for? Don't tell me you encouraged Stark to challenge someone to try and defeat you, because that would be really out of character of you." Natasha asked him to clarify.

Steve blushed. "I, uh, thought maybe I could cheer you up." he murmured, clearly embarrassed.

"And you didn't remember that Stark has a coffee maker in his kitchen? And an oven, and the ingredients to bake almost anything? And that you do know how to bake?" Natasha challenged, looking almost amused. Steve mentally groaned, realizing that she was correct.

_Why, oh why, did Natasha always make him turn into a blubbering idiot?_

When Steve didn't answer and continue to stand blushing like the innocent human that he was, Natasha made her way to him, a half-smile on her face as she pecked him on the corner of his mouth. "Never let it be said I don't love it when guys make an effort to showcase their love." she whispered, giving him a mischievous smirk that sent all kinds of ideas into Steve's head, and _goddamn it, Steve, respect the woman!_

She made her way back into the helicarrier, clearly expecting him to follow suit, but he had to stop short when he realized what she was holding in her hand.

The bouquet.

The _crushed, dirty_ bouquet.

The _disgusting_ bouquet that had been _overrun_ by cars and people seeking for refuge.

And there she was, turning it over in her hand and smiling at it like it was the best thing she had ever seen.

Maybe flowers weren't such a bad thing to give her…?

"Just don't make the next one as cheesy as this one, Steve!" Natasha called out, as if reading his mind.

Nope, it was definitely out of the question.

He ran after her, walking in beat with her steps. "So, uh, how did you know I was in trouble?"

Natasha gave him a look. "JARVIS told me."

"But I told him not to tell."

Natasha let out a laugh - no, wait, not a laugh. A giggle.

Natasha Romanoff had giggled.

Steve could die peacefully knowing that he was privileged enough for Natasha to giggle in front of him.

"Steve, the AI won't lie if he knows you're in danger. It'd do the same to any of us, don't feel bad." she smiled, walking into the infirmary.

"I already was in the first place, anyway."

"Oh, yeah, about that." Natasha murmured, dabbing the gash on Steve's face slowly. "I don't buy that romantic gesture thing. What was it really for?"

"Well -"

"And don't even _think_ about lying to me."

Steve winced, both from the pain of Natasha pressing a bit too hard on his gash and the figurative harshness of her words. He took a deep breath, head lowering a bit before saying, "You looked pretty upset after the fight you got into the other day. I wanted you to feel better."

This time, Natasha froze, looking up with wide and surprised eyes at Steve. For a moment, the latter thought she was appalled at the fact he had brought the topic up, but Natasha only let out a small chuckle, shaking her head in amusement. "Steve, that was _literally_ nothing!"

"What."

"I mean it!" Natasha smiled, now applying a bandage to the gash. "I mean, you should see me getting into a fight with other people, that was nothing. I'm not upset over that."

"I no longer have a grasp on what is happening." Steve murmured.

"I think you haven't for a long time." Natasha then placed a kiss on Steve's cheek, smiling as yet again the supersoldier grew a bright pink. "Get some rest, I'll pick you up later and then we'll have a proper romantic gesture."

"I'm paying." Steve immediately offered, but Natasha shook her head.

"I already have a deal with someone to pay for our dinner. See you later." she explained, walking out and leaving Steve alone to wonder who she had convinced to pay their dinner.

(Though when they had to seat at a table reserved for 'Gratuitous Friends of Mr. Stark', - gratuitous being the emphasized word - he didn't need to wonder.)

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: The amount of Tony Stark bothers me. This was supposed to be a Romanogers centric fic but now Tony's fighting for dominance ARGH.
> 
> (Then again, he's my favorite character so I'm probably biased.)
> 
> Fun fact: The line "I no longer have a grasp on what is happening." is an altered version of a fanmade Miraculous Ladybug comic. The original line is "Chat Noir no longer has a grasp on what is happening." (Congratulations to you guys if you know the show!)
> 
> Leave a review! :)
> 
> -psychopathicdorito


End file.
